AIDA Nederland

sweat boils on my scalp
burns in my eyes
shines on the skin
it's a hot afternoon on my bed
he loves the Sun
he's nomb the heat
I am making a sweet love with his body
sweet , I let him melt inside me
drowsy
I'm like the waves of an ocean, touching a shore,letting it go,
coming right back again
back again
back again
back
again
not letting go
I am not
drowsy
he's fallen
asleep

he, yes , I know

Smile

Hush … 9…8…7..

doesn't smile
I want him to smile
I want him to lie back and smile
lie back, motionless,..
I want to suck on his genitals till it runs out of milk
till he smile and a tear run down out of the side of his left eye
he doesn't smile
he doesn't want me to milk him, "it hurts.." , he says
he's got no genitals, he says
says I've rubbed him out of it
he lies
he wants to move over on top of me
he says I am the one with genitals
he lies
he wants me to stay still while he licks me
close my eyes and press my lips together
then he wants me to open them up in a form of smile
what a change, what a change
patches of black hanging down the sky
what does it reminds me of
then I creep up his leg , a roach , that's what I am
what happened to me, to me, with big blue eyes?
I creep up his leg up up up
patches of black , what a change in the sky
he lies
a good erection , yes , the roach bit the penis
what a change ,
I remember things
things have changed
I remember everything
the roach crawls down slowly, feeling as tiny as a lonely ant
orange light falls on the bed ,
it is an isolated room , the bedroom
down on the floor is where we made love
there on the windowsill is where we sat to watch the neighbors' commotion
they were loud at times , than , we made love
I used to envy him for his thirsty vulva
feeding him my forefingers , I would envy his pain
he had pain , he says he still does
he says I rubbed him out his genitals
I want him to lie back…stay still
Than, I want to crawl up a wall
we did nothing during night
crying yelling shouting whining was all we did
we used the night as the stage, a crazy one
"The curtain rise" "The curtain down"
rise down rise down rise down down down stupid..
he is beautiful , sleeping , sun rays on his body
kisses who knows how many kisses
countless kisses my lips tattooed on his skin
oh how completely , entirely , absolutely he is mine
I want to wear him on me
wear him on my bones
he is a child born thousands of years ago
in a shell , dark inside and chilled
he saw me on a dirt-road , why was I purpled
the road ran down a valley, deep and dense
but why was I purpled
I showed him my womb
"bloody safe , warm , soft , ah?" , I told him
he is an enchanting goddess , eyes of sapphire
wearing sky blue sandals,
a dust of purplish silk as a gown
I want him to smile
he wants to paint me all blacks and reds
then he wants to hang me on the wall, wash his bush and walk off
bright sapphire smile,
red ruby smile,
sit back like a motionless dirty sea
like a womb that takes back his child
no, I don't want to hide you
no, I don't want to hide
why don't you hang me up a tree like a silly star
yes, of course I hear the gnawing
yes I know it hurts
yes I see the clouds are crumpled
I'll wash your gown, not to worry
I'll wash the sheets

21 april 2001